Choosing Your Wedding Date
Your wedding invitation is often the first that guests hear about your wedding. It is also used by guests to glean the style and tone of your wedding. Naturally, if you are planning a theme wedding, then the wedding invitations are used to set up the theme. A destination wedding is also reflected in the invitation. The overall formality or casual nature of the wedding is also made apparent in your wedding invitations.
In the South Asian cultures, wedding invitations play a greater role than just indicating what type of wedding the guests can expect. The manner in which the wedding invite is presented may actually determine whether the guests accept the invitation or not! Here are some quick rules of thumb to keep in mind when distributing your wedding invitations.
The first wedding invitation is always sent to the parents of your spouse-to-be. In Hindu marriages it is customary to hold a Ganesh puja and invite the Gods to the wedding. The same invitation is then given to the parents of the opposite side.
Wedding invitations can be printed in the mother-tongue or English - both are acceptable - as per your family’s beliefs. However, if you intend to invite guests who may not understand or read your mother-tongue it is required that you either print a set of invitations in English (or any other commonly understood language) or place a set of inserts that include the necessary information like date, time and venue of the wedding.
Wedding invitations are always sent with a box of sweets or some other wedding favour - especially for a son’s wedding. Traditionally, invitations to a daughter’s wedding were not sent with any favours. The reason being that the bride’s parents were already expected to incur large wedding costs and did not need to add to their expense. Most families no longer follow this rule and prefer to give out wedding favours in all their children’s weddings.
It is customary for the bride or groom’s parents to go personally and invite close family and friends. The task can be delegated to other members of the family like an elder brother and his wife or grandparents even. However, the invitation must be issued personally.
For distant relatives and acquaintances it is acceptable to courier the invitations.
Invitations to friends can be distributed by the bride or groom themselves. These invitations need to be given personally or sent by mail depending on the relationship between friends.
Guests invited for ceremonies other than the wedding reception, like the Sangeet party or the Mehendi , must be invited to the wedding also. It is a serious faux pas to invite a guest for a smaller event and not the wedding itself although the vice versa is acceptable. Also, any guests who have participated in the planning of the wedding must be invited. Guests who have attended the bridal shower or groom’s stag party also are to be invited.
It is acceptable to print just one set of wedding invitations for both the bride and groom’s side of the family. This is a great budgeting tip.
Out-of-town guests need to be sent a letter intimating them of the wedding dates as soon as the dates have been finalised. The actual wedding invitations can be sent closer to the wedding date with the rest of the details.
It is better to print inserts for pre-wedding ceremonies so that you can include them with select wedding invitations. Sending a wedding invite with the details of pre-wedding ceremonies and then not mentioning the ceremony over the phone call is not considered acceptable.
A follow-up phone call is a must for close family and friends a week or ten days prior to the wedding.
In Indian culture a guest is akin to God and must be treated with equal respect and reverence. The more guests who show up to bless the union the better the marriage is expected to be. So when inviting your guests ensure that you extend the warmest invitation you can!
Sunil is a relationship expert specializing in Marriage, Family and Relationships.He has written authoritative articles on relationships and marriage and is currently assisting [http://www.shaadi.com/matrimonials/india-matrimonial ]India Matrimonial and [http://www.shaadi.com/matrimonials/india-matrimonial ]India Matrimonials as a Family and Relationship specialist.
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One of the first things that you will have to fix once you have decided to get married is to choose the exact wedding date. June, December, and January may be some of the most popular months to wed but nothing stops you from tying the knot at any other time of the year. What are some of the things you must look into before you choose that all important date which you will remember and celebrate for the rest of your life?
1. Activities to be handled:
Choose a date that will allow you ample time to take care of all the things that go with arranging a wedding. Although it is still possible to have a decent, simple wedding with one to two months’ preparation, allowing for more time to prepare everything will definitely lessen your stress level. Six months’ preparation is workable while preparing a year before the wedding is ideal. This will ensure, more or less, that you will be able to book the venues that you prefer and will be able to choose the best and most cost-efficient suppliers.
2. Budget:
How large or how flexible is your budget for your wedding? If you have saved a relatively substantial amount for your wedding, then you have the choice of scheduling your wedding during peak periods during the year when hotel rates or even restaurant rates may be higher. Scheduling your wedding during typical vacation times, for example, may allow more of your friends and relatives to attend, unless they are away on a trip themselves. If you are pressed for funds, choosing a working day for your wedding will probably allow you to save on some costs and limit the number of guests who will actually attend the ceremonies and the party.
3. Weather:
Depending on where in the world you live, expected weather conditions should be considered in deciding when you actually tie the knot. If you live in a country where there are rainy seasons, then you may want to steer clear of those months, particularly if you would like a garden wedding. If you live in a place where there are super cold winters, then you may want to schedule your wedding in spring when the weather is kinder, particularly if you have guests coming from elsewhere and who may not be used to cold weather.
4.  What the old folks say:
Depending on the culture you grew up in, there will be tons of sayings that the old folks may have in terms of choosing your wedding date. Listening to what they have to say does not necessarily mean you actually believe these sayings but may be a way to promote peace and harmony in the family. For example, choose a date when the moon is growing larger than smaller. (This is said to bring good luck.) Or avoid getting married on a Tuesday or a Friday to keep away from a sorrowful life. Or you should have your full names and birthdays checked, as well as those of your parents’, by a numerologist so she can tell you what the luckiest day to wed is.
It is really up to you to choose the final date for your wedding, all the above sayings notwithstanding. Should you decide to deviate from what the old folks say though, just make sure you have the stomach and patience for some “I told you so” which may come up in the future. After all, how your marriage turns out after your wedding is more a function of what you as a couple do rather than what your chosen wedding date says about you.
So, what are you waiting for? Whip out your calendar and choose that all-important date, having your interests and best intentions in mind. You do not really need to wait for Christmas.
Alicia Barcelon is a fortysomething wedding planner who has seen and organized too many weddings except her own. She is currently on sabbatical as she focuses on other personal and professional interests while searching for “Mr. Right Away Dear”, whom she believes may be just right across the room or right across the ocean. She is still willing to assist readers though with wedding inquiries, questions, and needs, as she may refer you to her [http://www.youonlygetmarriedonce.com/]wedding planning partners at http://www.youonlygetmarriedonce.com
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